terms of service

[beautiful clouds]


As a user of this site, you acknowledge and agree to the terms and conditions within these Terms of Service ("ToS"). Your use of this site grants your legally binding consent to the ToS.


For the purposes of this agreement, all data (information, graphics, text, etc.) accessed through the ellars.com second-level domain name (i.e., http://ellars.com) and any third-level domains (e.g., www, ftp, and so forth) shall be included in and referred to as "the Domain."

official contact terms and conditions

Any and all official contact directed at the operator(s) of the Domain shall be achieved in writing via certified, return-receipt postal mail delivery to the address listed on the contact page. All contact directed at MSE and/or the Domain via electronic mail ("email"), including contact of an official nature, will be summarily ignored. Contact via telephone ("phone"), facsimile machine ("fax"), or any other means not specifically mentioned ("other means of communication") will also be ignored.

additional contact terms and conditions

Any person, business, organization, or other legal entity that sends unsolicited commercial email ("UCE" or "spam") to any email address serviced by the Domain will be charged a $500 proofreading fee for each such email transmitted to and/or received by the Domain. This proofreading fee will be in addition to any civil and/or criminal penalties assessed as the result of legal action under the provisions of the laws noted below. Consider this official notification.

Special State of California Statutes

California Business and Professions Code Section 17538.4 places many restrictions on unsolicited commercial email. These restrictions were upheld by the California Court of Appeal for the First District in Ferguson v. Friendfinder, Inc., Case No. A092653. This statute explicitly applies to "unsolicited e-mailed documents [that] are delivered to a California resident via an electronic mail service provider's service or equipment located in this state." As I am located within the State of California and access my email through a service provider located within the State of California, the provisions of this statute will apply to you, regardless of your physical location.

California Penal Code Section 502 provides for fines of up to $10,000 and imprisonment of up to three years for each violation of a variety of computer-related crimes, which include the alteration of computer resources caused by the delivery of unsolicited commercial email. Section 502(g) allows for the forfeiture of computer equipment used in the commission of computer-related crimes. Section 502 further allows for private civil action in addition to criminal prosecution.

Federal Statutes

Pursuant to US Code Title 47, Section 227(a)(2)(B), a computer/modem/printer meets the definition of a telephone fax machine. Section 227(b)(2)(C) prohibts the delivery of unsolicited commercial messages to such an apparatus. Section 227(b)(3)(C) states that a violation of the aforementioned Section is punishable by action to recover actual monetary loss, or $500, whichever is greater, for each violation.


Unless otherwise explicitly indicated, all information, images, code, ideas, hints, suggestions, winks, generally vague references to anything profitable and other content within the Domain are copyright Michael S. Ellars ("MSE"). Any use of any information, images, code, ideas, hints, suggestions, winks, generally vague references to anything profitable or other content contained within the Domain without the expressed written permission of the copyright holder (MSE) is likely to be in violation of International and United States copyright laws. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESEVERED. All Inquiries for the use of any material (for which the copyright is held by MSE), as well as all other copyright-related inquiries, should be made in writing via postal mail delivery to the address listed on the contact page. All copyrights held by other entities (public, private, semi-public, semi-private, for-profit, non-profit, not-for-profit, non-religious, religious, educational, recreational, terrestrial, extraterrestrial, non-dimensional, extra-dimensional, hyper-dimensional, and all other entities not yet mentioned), belong to their respective owners. The Domain contains content, images, code, and other material which may lie within the public domain and/or may be in restricted release for private use. Where applicable, recognition for said content, images, code, or other material is located at the bottom of this copyright statement.

content responsibility

Neither MSE nor the service provider(s) hosting the Domain ("the Provider") is responsible for information or content (of any type or description) located on servers not within the Domain. Furthermore, the Provider is not responsible for anything located within the Domain itself. Users of the Domain acknowledge that some links within the Domain point to pages (and their respective content) not located within the Domain. All users follow such links at their own risk! MSE and the Provider have no control over and are not responsible for the information, content, service(s) or maintenance of files located outside of the Domain. Neither MSE nor the Provider can be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any damage or loss caused or alleged to be caused by or in connection with use of or reliance on any such information, content, files or services available on or through any such site or resource.

disclaimer of warranties

You expressly understand and agree that:

MSE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. MSE makes no warranty towards the performance or viewability of any page, or towards the accuracy of the content witin any page. Users acknowledge that all code ("scripts"), such as ActiveX, VBScript, and/or JavaScript, are provided "as is" and "as available" with no warranty towards their performance. Neither MSE nor the Provider is responsible for the actions or performance of any script, ActiveX control, Java applet or other content. Some portions of the scripts on the Domain may cause some browsers and/or some operating systems to exhibit unwanted and/or unexpected behavior, including but not limited to: malfunction; deletion, damage, and/or corruption of data stored on the user's computer or other device; funny noises; and/or "crashing," "freezing," and/or "hanging.". Laboratory rats exposed to the Domain developed various cancers, skin leisions, and involuntary bowel movements, and eventually suffered horribly slow and painful deaths; however, these effects may also be the result of said rats being housed next to a cellular phone repeater tower, as rats given a placebo web site (specifically, "www.drem.com") also exhibited the same symptoms. Though care has been taken to minimize these risks, ACCESS THE DOMAIN AT YOUR OWN RISK! YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT MSE SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, GOODWILL, USE, DATA OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES (EVEN IF MSE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES), RESULTING FROM THE USE OR THE INABILITY TO USE THE DOMAIN, AND/OR THE COST OF PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS AND SERVICES RESULTING FROM ANY GOODS, DATA, INFORMATION OR SERVICES PURCHASED OR OBTAINED OR MESSAGES RECEIVED OR TRANSACTIONS ENTERED INTO THROUGH OR FROM THE DOMAIN.


Pages within the Domain contain hypertext mark-up language and scripts that have been optimized for HTML 4.0+, DHTML, and/or XHTML. These pages, and their content, may not be accessible to all browsers. (Hint: time to upgrade.)

internet ratings

The Domain has NOT been rated by the Internet Content Rating Association (formerly the Recreational Software Advisory Council). Therefore, information regarding ratings for the Domain based on the Platform for Internet Content Selection (PICS), as proposed by the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C), is not available. Neither MSE nor the Provider guarantees any ratings, past, present, or future, that the Domain may or may not (have) receive(d).

ellars.com banner

Any and all "banners" (a subclassification of images which for these purposes will include objects such as "buttons," "bugs," and all other "advertising tokens") remain the sole intellectual property of MSE. All rights are reserved. A limited license is granted for personal (non-commercial) use on any other web site provided three conditions are met: 1) the banner must be linked and the link must point to "http://ellars.com" only; 2) the banner must be stored on your own server (that is, the bytes that are downloaded for the ellars.com banner on your site must originate from your site) -- the ellars.com banner(s) located on the Domain may not be linked to; and 3) the purpose, presentation, and use of the ellars.com banner may not be in a manner desparaging to the Domain or any of its owners, employees, relatives, friends and/or pets.

"external" copyright notices

NetscapeTM and JavaScriptTM are registered trademarks of Netscape Communications Corporations, a division of America Online, which is probably also a trademark (despite being rather common terms), but I don't like AOL. America Online itself is now merely a division of AOL Time Warner, a/k/a The Bloated Media Juggernaut.

MicrosoftTM, ActiveXTM, and VBScriptTM are registered trademarks of The Evil Empire, a/k/a Microsoft Corporation.

SPAMTM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods, LLC.


The headings used in this ToS have no meaning in and of themselves. They are included for organizational purposes only.

about this page

These terms were last updated May 19, 2003, at 06:40 PM. Copyright © 1999-2003 Michael S. Ellars. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. You may not copy, distribute, fold, bend, mutilate, or spindle this disclaimer; however, you may use it as a template for your own notice provided you ask permission first.

themes?: [lightness] [darkness] [blueness]

© 1995-2013 [terms of service] [dreamhost] [xhtml 1.1]